In my thirties, I used to do a little thing I called NOvember. My 46th birthday is today, November 22 and I guess I used to believe that I had lived the year poorly, so I would deprive myself of “bad” stuff before my birthday. NO alcohol, no sugar, no dairy, no shit talking others, no shit talking myself, no swearing? I doubt I did that one. There were others.
I stopped doing NOvember because frankly it wasn’t fun and the mildly punishing aspect of it felt wrong and wrapped in a diet culture I’d rather not be a part of.
So you probably know by now that I am not generally a POS VIBES type of gal , but can I just tell you, like oh my god, I had such a YESvember this year!
Basically, I said yes to things that in the past would have sent me down a spiral of self-defeat.
The three stand outs being-I did my first market, I did my first pitch, I did my first official Austin Studio Tour.
YESvember, baby.
The market was in the parking lot of the Shop of Tillery, organized by my stellar shop mates at the Factory Of Obsolescence.
“We’re doing a market on the 9th. Want to do it?”
“No way. I am preparing to be freaked out by the studio tour the following weekend.”
”Understood.”
But then I thought about it.
Here’s the thing about proclaiming to the world that you are trying to make it as an artist. Well, you got to try to make IT as an artist and that IT is money (amongst other things.) I used to make felt owls and love birds, perhaps you have one? I didn’t really want to go that route. So what did I do? Well, I learned from my Artist Career Training class that one must brand themselves. Now this seems like something I want to roll my eyes at, it seems unauthentic and try hard, but wait, what’s that…it was actually fun?!?!?
Oh, right, I am in creative control here. It might be “on brand” but that doesn’t mean I sold my soul to the purveyors of bland. I can make a doll that frowns! I can make a doll with four eyes! Right!
”Tell me about these dolls.”
“They are on brand.”
WRONG.
”Tell me about these dolls.”
”Well, they are directly inspired by my drawings.”
”Oh, I can see that!”
Anyhow, I sold them all! And some drawings and prints!
YESVEMBER.
Tell us about the pitch!
If you haven’t been memorizing my life, as part of Artist Career Training I had to do a five minute pitch on a project that needs seed funding. (And by HAD TO I mean, like four people didn’t show up that day so…)
I pitched a book of art and writing that would be marketed towards therapists offices.
I signed up to be one of the first people to go so that I could relax and enjoy the other 19 pitches. Best move, highly recommend it.
I didn’t win, didn’t expect to. NBD.
But, uhhh, feed the beast man, I got some laughs and was told after that I should do stand up!
That’s all I needed to hear.
Case closed.
Oh, and people encouraged me to actually make the book.
YESVEMBER!
The studio tour was this past weekend. I set up Harvest Lumber Co. (my husbands shop, where my studio is located) as a real his and hers gallery. There was lumber, there were freaky faces, there was a beautifully crafted bench, there was a smudged drawing sitting next to a spider web!
I really enjoyed not dusting for the event. Realizing that I had agency in how I presented my work, I was like, “The Daddy Long Legs stay!”
It felt very freeing to admit that some of my work has an abandoned house feel to it.
The tour itself was quite fun. Saturday was kind of slow. It felt a little painful because I could look outside and see the crowd at Flitch Coffee.
“Down here!! Hey! You! Art anyone!?”
Some would stroll down, peak through the open garage door and saunter on.
“Wait! Don’t you want to see my heart and soul!?!?! Please!?!? Look at me!!!!”
VALIDATE ME!
What I learned from doing the pitch was to have realistic goals. For my book it was to sell 100 in the first year and have a copy in 15 therapists offices in the first three months. I didn’t quite know how to set my goals for my first studio tour, but I settled on making at least $500/day and selling to 2 people who I didn’t know. A goal I made after having achieved it, so maybe I cheated.
Sunday I reached that goal early on and was able to feel good about the rest of the day. Going forward, with what I know about my prone-to-pessimism self, I shall set goals that are achievable so that I can shut up the damn voices who like to knock me down.
My favorite conversation I had on Sunday was with a woman who to me represented “a square, straight, normal person.” These are the people that for some reason I have always felt like I needed to please, cuz surely they represent the all knowing masses. It’s weird writing that sentence because really I feel like, “fuck em” but of course there is that deep down part of me who has always just wanted to be normal.
Barf.
”We were just noticing your painting out there, the one called ‘A painting for a 15 year old girl who hates the world.’”
I wrote about this painting before. It’s based on listening to an audio book by Patty Schemel, the drummer from Hole, amongst other bands. When she was getting kicked out of Hole for her heroin addiction she lamented that she just wanted to make music for 15 year old girls who hated the world. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear that there were people out there making music for me, the 15 year old girl who hated the world when Hole was putting out music. I decided to make a painting for that version of me and other girls.
This lady had no idea what I was talking about. Hole? Heroin!? Hate!?!?!? I could tell I was kinda making her feel weird. Her friend was nodding like she was getting something I was saying so I pressed on. She told me that she is going through that with her 15 year old granddaughter. She’s being difficult.
“Maybe you should buy her the painting?” I suggested.
The woman looked baffled, “Oh, no. We don’t need to encourage that.”
”It might help her feel seen.”
Nervous chuckles as they wander away.
Why is this my favorite conversation!? Because I feel like I finally stuck up for myself and other depressed teenage girls. This lady has her stifled and repressed way of understanding the world and it’s all in the name of being positive, or keeping the peace or whatever, but really it’s hurting people. It is not wrong to be depressed. It is not wrong to hate the world. It is wrong to deny that people feel that way. It is wrong to write off your granddaughter as going through a phase, because some aspects of that phase may stick with her for life, such as having a grandmother who refuses to see who you are.
I also talked with a recent graduate of the UT architecture school, who was in need of letting his artistic flag fly. He kept talking about his generation.
“My generation, we have such short attention spans. We are always looking at our phones, scrolling and scrolling. But your art, it catches the eye and asks us to really look at it. My generation, we need that, we need something to really look at.”
Ding, ding, ding young chap!
I want to make art that makes people put their phones down and feel connected. I want them to feel their eyeballs moving across something bigger than a screen. I appreciated that someone from his generation took the time to communicate that with me.
YESvemeber!
Thanks again to those who stopped by either weekend. Just because I didn’t write about you doesn’t mean you weren’t noted!
If you weren’t able to make it and want to stop by one day please reach out!
If you would like to purchase a doll or art please reach out! I have a few more dolls made and can make more for all of your gift giving needs!
AND Happy Anniversary to my HP!
“HP?”
“Honey Pie!”
7 years married! 17 Years together!
Yessss! Congrats 😍
I hope you have a YEScember too! I'm glad people told you you should do stand up. Because you are a funny one! Really happy to hear about all your successes, big and small 🦐